May 10, 2017

Anxiety | My Story

There are a few reasons as to why I wanted to write about my anxiety story/update. Firstly, because It´s been quite a while since I have written about it in depth and my last proper post about it was in 2014. Secondly, I met many people recently dealing with the same issue as myself, I believe talking about anxiety or even depression is something very taboo in our society and it must be more outspoken bloggers sharing it. As my channel grew in size and very exciting things started happening, I became very aware of the fact I was going to be missing out on potentially life-changing opportunities if I carried on living my life in the same way and it bothered me. A LOT. I was meeting a lot of new people who all appeared to have their shizz together and I became so aware of the behaviours I’d installed so deeply into my subconscious mind that I didn’t really know where to start. Why was I settling for this way of living my life and letting anxiety become my main point of call? I started work on my anxiety in 2015. Having lived a very normal life near the beach, suddenly I was required to go to meetings in Lisbon. Everything moved SO QUICKLY. Some weeks I’d feel on top of the world, and other weeks I would be rocking back and fourth in tears on a train on my own on my way to Lisbon to do something. Although I never really talked in depth about my anxiety, it was something that was extremely challenging to balance. Knowing I could stay at home and not run the risk of a panic attack, or pushing myself because I WANTED TO DO IT...

Nobody should settle with anxiety being a big part of their identity, it isn’t. Anxiety is not your life and it’s not who you are, it’s just a small part of you that doesn’t have to be so loud. Everyone has anxiety in varying levels and some of us are better at it than others. If you have anxiety or any other form of mental health issue, you CAN change how much it affects you. Don’t just settle, take steps to improving your life. It may take time, hard work and dedication but it’s worth it in the end. Also remember that you aren’t alone. You are not the only one on this planet feeling the way you do and although at times it can seem as though nobody understands, yourself included, there will be somebody or something that can help. Ultimately, though, only YOU can make the biggest difference by making that first, and often a terrifying first step. I can’t even express to you in words how happy I am that I decided to make that change.

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